‘Goodnight. I love you,’ he heard her murmur, as if from a distance. Smiling automatically into her small, heart-shaped face, Damon replied, without thinking, ‘I love you, too.’ But he hadn’t loved her. Not really, or at least, not nearly enough to bind himself to her for the rest of his life. He’d known it and apparently, she’d known it—even before he had. Every now and then, he’d hear his mother’s voice in his head, questioning him, asking if he really loved Beth. If he really wanted to marry her. For a long time, he’d have mental arguments with his mother, set out to prove her wrong. Prove that he was committed to Beth and the life they were going to have together. Eventually, though, his mother’s voice was replaced with his own. Questioning. Second-guessing. Regretting. Twenty months into their engagement, he’d finally broken down and told Beth that he needed some time to think. He’d echoed her words but, unlike his reticent calm when she’d said them, Beth began to cry. ‘What. But every night, he had returned.‘Come here, Jean.’The voice was more purposeful now. But still, she ignored him. Her father always came back later with the carcass, his duty and right as chief, where all the women would then strip the meat, salt and preserve the flesh for their future stores to last them through the cold winters. Jean longed to hunt with him. She could run faster than any boy her age. It was almost like she could fly.The warmth of the cabin was masked by the chill that began to erupt up her spine, an almost imperceptible tremor that went unnoticed, simply because no one else was around. She had been foolish, and lost track of time. She hadn’t noticed the voices fade into the wind, until there was nothing left but the dancing ice and snow that twirled around the logs, signalling danger, danger, danger.Her cheeks burned.‘Come here, Jean.’Sometimes, the voice was tipsy. Swollen with fermented pride and pissed away frustrations. She was lucky then. Mead dulled the mind,.
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